Box Is Like A Life Of Chocolates; The Tragic Story of A Democratic Candidate

Yeah, yeah, I know. My dyslexia got the best of me again. I was going to fix the title but it seemed appropriate for what I was going to write. 

The Greater El Paso Republican Women held a candidate forum for the City Council races in Districts 1 & 8 at their monthly meeting held at the Vista Hills Country Club this Saturday. It was quite an interesting event. I'll write my thoughts on what I thought about the candidates on several posts. But this post will be focused on Jorge Artalejo. After what I saw on Saturday, he earned a whole post just for himself. Artalejo is running in District 8 along with six other candidates. They are all going after the seat that will be left vacant by Beto (Oh, you really want to legalize marijuana?) O'Rourke.

I walked into the meeting, by the way I'm proud to say I am a full fledged member of the Greater El Paso Republican WOMEN, none of this associate member crap. I payed my full dues so I'm waiting for my pink vest with my name on it. (sarcasm people its only sarcasm)

So I walk into the meeting and see several new faces. Then I remembered, there was a City Council Candidate forum going on that day. A non partisan City Council race. So you know what that means, I see the Democrats (or is it Democratics, I forget) all siting together at a table closest to the food line. I could have sworn I saw them stuffing food in their pockets when no one was looking. But who am I to say anything. They looked out of place just by being at a Republican function but they also stood out like sore thumbs because two of them were wearing caps in doors. Its a common courtesy to remove your hats at all indoor Republican events. I'm surprised one of the viejitas(one of the senior members of the GEPRW) didn't smack them up side the head and make them take off their hats.

So anyway, I'm working the room looking for a place to sit. It was a packed house so finding a place to sit was harder than usual. I look towards the front of the room near the microphone and see an awkward looking fellow with funny hair sitting by himself. I saw that 7 of the 8 chairs were empty so I asked if I could sit there. He stuttered something to the affect that all the seats were taken. I thought I would do him the favor and sit with him but I guess he preferred to be alone so I walked away. Kelly Dickson found me a seat next to Tom and Mary Holmsley. I thanked Kelly for finding me a seat, looked at the direction of the awkward fellow with the funny hair and told Kelly that if it wasn't for her I would be sitting with that weirdo. Becky Hermosillo then  started the meeting promptly, she's pretty good at that, and introduced the candidates for District 8.

NO WAY!!!

The awkward fellow with the funny hair stood up and walked towards the candidate's table. If not brushing his hair wasn't bad enough, the guy revealed that he was wearing plaid shorts, a plaid shirt that didn't match and a pair of low top Converse. OK, I exaggerated they were knock off Converse. Sorry I was trying to toss the guy a bone. All of I sudden I realized who the weirdo was. It was Jorge Artalejo.You know the guy with a speech impediment who was referred to as "High Karate" on KHRO 1150 for kicking another candidate's family member at a forum. The same Jorge Artalejo who ran for El Paso County Democratic Chair in 2010 but spent most of his time campaigning for another candidate in another race and not his own. The same Jorge Artalejo  who ran for Congress in 2008 and got about 19% of the vote and in 2006 got a whopping 0% of the vote. But let's not hold all that against him. He has three races under his belt now. He has to have learned something right?

Artalejo stood up and went into this two minute incoherent rant that compared choosing a City Representative to choosing a chocolate bar. What? Are you serious? I'm dead serious. Now you have to remember that Artalejo has a speech impediment that makes him hard to understand. Now I'm only going to paraphrase because I couldn't understand everything that was coming out of this poor man's mouth. Artalejo said choosing a representative was like choosing a chocolate bar and people loved choosing a chocolate bar because a chocolate bar was such a delicious treat. That was only one sentence and he already used the word chocolate bar three times. So now imagine sitting through two minutes worth of Artelejo repeating the same words and trying to explain how choosing a chocolate bar makes people feel inside and equating that to choosing a city representative. Everyone in the room was in shock. They expected Ashton Kutcher to jump out with a camera and say we had just been Punked. But there was no camera insight. We were witnessing one of the biggest train wrecks in history taking place right before our eyes.

Everyone thought that Artalejo should have been wearing a coat when they first saw him but after hearing him talk they would expect to see him in a straight jacket. This guy is really off his rocker. But even after his terrible performance I think he missed a perfect opportunity. I was surprised to see that he didn't pullout a box of chocolates and sell them for $1 to help raise funds for his campaign. It would have been a perfect closing for his speech. Campaign finance reports have shown that Artalejo is not very good at raising money for his campaigns and this might have been his only shot raising at least $50 for his latest pipe dream.

I ask myself. How can the Democratic Party continue to have this guy run time and time again? I know.... this is supposed to be a non-partisan race. But the reality is that this guy has ran in two Congressional Primaries and one County primary as a Democrat. Now having wackos like Artalejo run as a Democrat only helps the Republican party. But what does it do for young or new voters? It makes them think that El Paso politicians are a bunch of wackos and will make them think twice about getting involved in the election process. Many liberals have said that passing the new Voter ID law would disenfranchise voters. Well they are mistaken. Now listening to Artalejo speak about chocolate bars........that's disenfranchising. This guy is so bad that unborn children are already saying they are not going to vote in future elections. This guy is so bad that I think even he won't vote for himself. With as many candidates running in that race I honestly think his numbers will match his 2006 Congressional race results and he will get 0% of the vote. But that's just me being optimistic.